You are beautifully amazing, perfectly crafted, joyfully floating through every thought in my mind at this moment. You are the queen of my heart and the love of my life, the perfectly chosen soulmate brought together by the One we serve. Our divine path and story has yet to be fully written and though there may be times of fear, doubt, sadness and hurt, the One who wove us together will never unweave our story until He has decided to write that last sentence.
-raycarroll
Sunday, January 16, 2011
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1 Response to For My Soulmate
Seven months afterwards..that last sentence was written. Gotta admit my head is still spinning from how fast this all took place..I had this WEIGHT of guilt for years..and though I made mistakes these last few months I've wondered what I could have done differently and I see now, that it was nothing I could have done. Without forgiveness from someone no relationship can withstand constant pressure..like the waves crashing on the shore. I started to believe the lie myself that it was my fault..I still don't fully see the big picture, but I do know where my heart was...I beat myself up for YEARS...always giving and it was never enough...so glad I kept some kind of journal to show myself I wasn't crazy..now the dust has settled...I am still able to say there isn't an ounce of hatred in me...despite ALL that's been taken...ALL the lies that have been spoken...I'm FINALLY moving on.
I've lost my faith in these lost few months by the actions of some..but honestly it makes me question why I believed what I believed for so long..I am now at the place where I can see that the truth is who I am and I don't have to be dictated by dogmatic traditions handed down from years past taught to us by people who have no desire to live what they preach. I am my own person now...free from those chains of religious oppression. Having my world turned upside down showed me that I only need to be who I was meant to be...myself.
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